something would change. I feel like I'm on autopilot all the time. What am I really contributing?
Not that anyone notices the giant waste of space I've become. There isn't anyone to notice. Why does everyone else get to find someone when I don't? That's the part I feel is the most unfair. I know I'm not the prettiest or the smartest and I'm sure not the nicest but I've seen uglier, dumber, meaner people than I that have found someone.
I still have my plenty of fish account. I can't bring myself to delete it but I also can't bring myself to reply to anyone in my inbox, except for a couple that sounded sincere. But even those weren't replies so much as they were appologies for being so freaked out by my experiences that I can't even bring myself to keep trying. So that's where I'm at there...stuck between not wanting to give up and to scared to keep trying.